First music cue [34s]  “Playful modern folk”

Off-camera: Ernie, do you want to get down? Do you want a treat?

Sit.

[1:00] Ernie the dog narration: Every day of my life starts like this—wake up, sit, shake, munch. Little does my human know, it’s all an act. I’m placating him. In reality—on the rare days when he leaves the house, given he’s some stay at a home “journalist”—I work in pup counterintelligence, federal kennel of investigation. Day in day out, I gather research to hopefully prevent these idiots from blowing up the world.    

Off-camera: Do you want to play?

[1:25 musical cue] “Original spy theme”

Ernie: It may look like playtime, but it’s critical incindiary device retrieval and diffusal  training. 

I don’t mind my cover operation, my humans adore me. I’m immortalized in art.  

I get water whenever I want. 

Off-camera: Ernie do you need some water?

Ernie: And I’ve trained my human into insuring I complete my daily exercise regiment in order to stay up to department fitness standards. 

Off-camera: You ready to go?

[Music cue, 2:00: “Cinematic inspirational atmospheric”]

Off-camera: Ernie, do you want to run? 3.. 2… 1…

Ernie, did you like your run?

Ernie: Hey human , c’mon, we’re recording.  Stop. Anyway I hate to cut this short, but big day tomorrow. I can’t really say more but… Russia. 

[Music cue, 2:50: “Collab: AI Duet + Infinite Drum”]

I still need a bath. 

And I still have to grind my teeth before bed.

Oh, and in case it needs saying, don’t repeat any of this. We pups know where you live.     

Off-camera: Night, Ernie.